The Big Move

Like most big decisions in my life, this too was decided rather suddenly but without a hint of doubt in any of its layers. I haven't regretted it till today. But, frankly, there had been a build-up for a year or two when the idea of India as my true home swished around in my mind during my frequent visits to India for work from 2000-02.

During one of those visits, I took a few days off to attend a Bhagavatha Saptaham (Expounding the great works of Bhagavatham by Vyasa in Samskritam and by Pothana in Telugu) event that was being conducted as a yagna at my brother's home in Secunderabad.  It was an all day event over 7 days and the beautiful early mornings and the innocent bird calls as background are vivid in my memory as the riveting exposition continued. The idea of my true belonging in India crystallized during that event. I just felt at home and utterly pleasant with the idea of somehow charting my way back to India. 

It's a decision not entirely done with my head alone. My entire being was involved. Was I just emotional or sentimental? So, what's the problem with that? Isn't our emotional experience a big part of our wellbeing? I wasn't doing it to prove my patriotism. I was just doing it for myself. 

When I broached this with Padmaja, it was not taken very well and perhaps upset all her plans to work as the kids were going to school during the day. It's to her credit that she sacrificed all that she liked and desired for me. I actively jumped into job search as Intel India was seriously searching for various senior management positions. I wasn't even looking at temporary expat positions; I was just looking for a permanent move. My young kids aged 8 and 6 then took it very hard when I broke this news to them after having the job at Intel India as its IT Site Manager in hand. 

It does not at all mean that I did not appreciate the opportunity of having been in the USA, studying, working, raising family there for 15 years. They were years of freedom, learning, growth and even material success. It's just that I needed to be back home now. That was all.

Where in India?

The fact that we were moving to Bangalore where we were not from was a good neutral choice. It's far enough from our extended families while we were just an hour flight away. We have been away too long and wanted to raise our family and conduct our lives without too much of family weighing on our day-to-day moves.  However, since it is a move from one Intel to another Intel, many work related things remained relatable and easy to get adjusted to.

My nephew from Hyderabad used to say that Bangalore is the 51st state of USA. Though it feels like that in some ways, we all know that it cannot be and thankfully so!

But, where in Bangalore? Our initial preference was to be in a traditional part of Bangalore like Jayanagar. We liked its clean layout, quiet streets and its traditional vibe with temples, eateries etc. However, we found that real estate prices were steep in such well-established areas and alas, it was not financially viable. Providentially, during one of my numerous work visits to Bangalore 2 years before, I had put in a small deposit for a villa plot in an old fruit orchard, totally on a whim. 

Home is Whitefield

Whitefield in 2002 was a remote place in the eastern fringe of Bangalore. A wisp of a single lane road connected it to the city. For most things, we had to travel 7 to 8 km to Indiranagar. However, it was teeming with expats and people like us who are in India for a few years or forever. We had Australian, French, British, Srilankan neighbours and at one time, we had South American tenants in one of our homes. A complete United Nations experience while the raw Indian experience awaited us as soon as we cross the main gate!

During those days, I used to cart a whole lot of foods from abroad during many of my business trips as kids used to long for those during their withdrawal phase. Gradually, that reduced to almost zero as foreign things and even good Indian alternatives started becoming available locally. 

The choice of school was another big decision. We really wanted them to go to a good local school instead of being secluded in high powered International schools where kids from here spoke in American accent. It did not appeal to us as the purpose of our move was for all of us to grow here before we fan out. We chose Valley School by Jiddu Krishnamoorthi Foundation at first but gradually, both kids gravitated to a local International school attended by local elite families among others. Rahul Dravid and author Ramachandra Guha, Shabnam Virmani (Kabir Project) sent their kids here for instance. Nothing was wrong per se but, with a certain economic status in life, we tend to gravitate to such places and we had to let the kids grow up and figure out THEIR life moves by themselves.  The schools were far and commutes were long but we lumbered on. 

Working in India

Life was not without hiccups or mindset differences in both work and life environments. Initial 3 years at Intel India were challenging because the IT infrastructure scaling issues were huge both internally (getting a political consensus within the big IT in Folsom, CA) and externally (Vendor capabilities and reliability). But, I found the loyalty of employees, especially those without any experience abroad was extremely high. They worked very hard to creatively support my pitch to big IT. They treasured the confidence I placed in them and the respect I had for them and they really appreciated any opportunities that were offered to them. They had the hunger. I really learnt a lot during those years and despite some mean bosses (who doesn't have them?) and challenges within and without. I branched out into Infrastructure beyond Enterprise Software. I had the satisfaction of bringing up new permanent sites for Intel India.

Life in India

We encountered some really extraordinary people. Several came back to India on their own and a number of those have stayed back. All of us have likely spent more years in India than abroad though those decades abroad gave us the needed fillip here to move up further. More importantly, the exposure has permanently enriched our lives.

For instance, I have a Swedish farmer and a musical CEO for friends among others. The Swedish farmer born to Indian diplomat family,  lived and worked in so many countries, holding Swedish citizenship and working for Swedish government as a liaison with Indian industries. He is now retired and lives on a farm nearby and it is always humbling to have coffee with him listening to his stories on the farm and encounters with the local goons. 

Another friend who is musically brilliant and has natural flair for it and a consummate performer on the stage with light music or bhajans. He has been a serial CEO making the complete switch from Chip design to Drug discovery. He works with the highest echelons in the UN and WHO but, is so down-to-earth and runs a whole number of charitable organizations in children's education, healthcare. He and his wife built a community center with a beautiful kitchen garden  where concerts and performances take place regularly. 

These and so many others who had at one time lived abroad for many years count among our friends doing diverse activities that only India can offer. A number of them came back on their own since they were being tugged by India in some corner of their heart. Most of us are inspired by many things Indian in their true spirit beyond the forms.

As we age...

In terms of spirituality, religious traditions, and arts/crafts, there is no other place that feels like home. This is a land that has had 6000 to 7000 years of cultural continuity and is replete with civilizational heritage. Some people term it also a Punyabhoomi (Sacred land). It also became my Karmabhoomi (Land of Action).  No better place to retire doing things you love and being surrounded by people who are like you.

Belonging

Recently, I met a friend at a local Italian Restaurant started by an Italian living in India. We sat with them over appetizers and drinks before we moved to our table for the main meal. His children, like ours, have gone to US for college and are working now. As to himself, he said, " I belong here irrespective of my passport. I can have an authentic Italian meal with the best French Wine while sitting among my people. Why would I be anywhere else?" We all have thoughts sometime regarding where we should retire and be closer to children etc. But, the sense of belonging is a huge factor that will determine our wellbeing.  This feels like a place to explore things that matter to us most as we settle into the twilight of our lives.

"There is no right or wrong", I say to youngsters I meet at parties, and advise them to explore the world in their prime years before deciding to "settle down". I tell my kids the same thing. "Both of you got expensive education in the US. So, be there, meet others in the melting pot (While it is still melting..), learn, enrich yourselves. Work for 10 or 15 years. But, have an appreciation for your origins and what made their current lives possible. Never lose sight of that."

When you have love and respect for your origins and when you have had wide exposure and absorbed the best values other cultures had to offer, any decision you take will not be taken lightly and will be taken for the right reasons. So, it will all be fine in the end. It always is!