Chidambara Rahasyam

After visiting Thiruvannamalai, the home of Agni lingam in 2023, I waited with bated breath to have the darshan of Chidambara Nataraja and his spatial presence (The Panchabhoota sthalam celebrating space or AkASa) till last week (17-20 September 2026). 

When a time window presented itself to me, I had expressed my ardent desire to go to Chidambaram to my dear friend, Dhinakaran hoping to get some advice about the region as he was there many times. What I received in return was a very enthusiastic proposal from him to join me on the yatra right after a major event in his family. He not only joined me, but he planned it out to include many other significant Dikshitar Kshetras (the sthalams Dikshitar composed his compositions on) and drove me around.

I had the most wonderful time with a deeply devoted and knowledgeable friend visiting 5 Shiva temples and 5 divya desams of Perumal apart from Ramana Maharshi's ashram in just 4 days while carving out many hours to Chidambaram temple over 3 different visits. The temples we visited were:

GovindarAja PerumAL koil, Chidambaram

NatarAjar koil, Chidambaram 

ThadALan PerumAL koil, Sirkazhi 

SaTTainAthar Sivan koil, Sirkazhi 

ANNan PerumAL koil, Nagore

SoundararAjar PerumAL koil, NAgapaTTinam

KAyArOhaNa swamy & NeelAyatAkshi koil, NAgapaTTinam

AruNAchalESwarar koil, ThiruvaNNAmalai

RamanAshram, ThiruvaNNAmalai

ParimaLa RanganAtha PerumAL koil, MayilADuthurai

MAyuranAthar Sivan koil, MayilADuthurai

I am very grateful for the blessing of this pilgrimage that manifested very naturally and easily. This is an attempt to capture my gratitude and experience while it is still fresh in my mind and heart.

The Pilgrimage begins

We began very early in the morning and stopped at Thiruvannamalai after 4 hours or so. We set foot on the holy grounds of Ramanashram and spent some time in the meditation halls there and the adjoining book shop. I bought a small image of Sri Ramana Maharshi that I regretted not getting the last time I was there.

After a quick prasadam that was being cheerfully provided by the devotees, we went straight to Arunachaleswarar koil (Agni lingam) and we had a good and easy darshan as it wasn't crowded at all. When we asked one of the security people there if it was going to take long for darshan in the General line, he quipped that it was all in His hands. We chuckled to ourselves that philosophy comes easily when we are at a temple. I offered "AruNAchala nAtham" in sAranga that I learnt several years ago while waiting in line at the temple.

We reached Chidambaram at about 4 pm. As our stay was not too far off from the temple, we headed to the temple at 5 pm after a quick refresh. In fact, over the next one and a half days, we kept going back to the temple in the morning and evening for a total of 3 times. As it happens, I always found something new that I hadn't noticed earlier in each visit. 

On the first day, there was an elaborate sphatika lingabhishekam happening on the side while pujas and aratis were being offered to Nataraja who was resplendently decorated with flowers and jewellery. He shone brilliantly from wherever I looked. He was atop a tall stone pedestal and several devotees stood at two levels and the view was totally unhindered and I could watch him for hours without being hassled by anyone. It was very unlike any other temple I had been to. On our visit next morning, we went up the pedestal or stage (arangam) and offered archana and flowers.

On the last day, during our evening visit, we spent a couple of hours having the darshan of Nataraja, Sivakami Ambal as well as Govinda raja perumal and thayar and took leave. We also took in many other signs, aspects and sights of the temple. There was a point from where we could see all 4 gopurams, for example.

During darshan, I also noticed a bright and shining chandra (crescent moon) in Nataraja's locks. I could also place my focus on his feet. There are beautiful brass or Panchaloha idols of Nataraja and Sivakami in a glass case on top of the shrine at the ceiling level. They are beautifully decorated in pink silks. It is a riveting and a beautiful sight. A few archakas were offering Sri Rudram as they did homam. I also observed the utsava murthy being taken on a pallaki (palanquin) and a yound archaka took Him back to the shrine with the cries of "Utsava murthy varraar" (Utsava murthy is coming). There are so many elaborate rituals being done parallelly and with a lot of care by the 300-strong Dikshitar community which runs the temple. They dwindled in size from 3000 to 300 over the years. They are holding on to their ancestral privilege by a tenuous thread.

Having just read Sri Vinay Varanasi's loving account of his Chidambaram visit and his perspective on its secrets in his book 'Bhaktas and Kshetras', we went in search of the original presiding deity of this kshetram - Sri Adi Moolanathar. It was a beautiful but quiet shrine that could be found on our pradakshinam. The priest there said it was swayambhu (naturally occuring) and Patanjali and Vyaghrapada adorn the two sides of the main threshold leading to the sanctum. I know from the above book and also from the brilliant production "Chidambara Rahasyam" of Vinay and his team that Patanjali and Vyaghrapada were two intense devotees who brought Shiva in his Nataraja form down to earth with their burning devotion.

An interesting detail is that there is a whole Divya desam of Govindaraja Perumal right in the middle of the Nataraja temple. That, by itself is not unusual as Vishnu has a shrine in many Siva temples (Ekamreswarar in Kanchi for instance). But, the Perumal koil here has its own elaborate rituals, mangala vadyam, procession of utsava murthy and a bevy of archakas chanting in unison and conducting the rituals and offering naivedyam.

Though there is a small vigraham (idol) of Sivakami in the main sanctum, there is also a very imposing and grand sannidhi for Sivakami in the premises. I was able to offer 'Ananda Natana Prakasam' in Kedaram several times while standing before Him and taking in the resplendent sight of Nataraja.

The Next Day

Since Chidambaram was our primary focus, we went for darshan twice daily for a total of 3 times. We could experience its expanse and intensity on cool early mornings and busy evenings as well. One thing I noticed was that, while Nataraja murthy is completely visible without any hindrance for as long as we want from many vantage points, our mind wanders. It is also interesting that we notice features like the shining crescent in his locks, small Nandi in front and his padams (one on the demon Apasmara and one in the air) of course.  This was a time, when I went closer to the very front and noticed Nandi blocking my view a bit. I was chuckling to myself while being reminded of "Vazhi Maraitirukkude" of Gopala Krishna Bharati from Nandanar Charitram. But I noticed that the Nandi was quite small unlike the mountain-like (malai pole) Nandi experienced by Nandanar according to the composer!

We had our last darshan on the evening of our second day there and were wandering the expansive temple. A thought occurred to me as to where all the prasadam that was being offered to the Lord went since I never partook prasadam in my previous visits. Not a very noble thought; but I am being honest. 

Believe it or not, the very next moment, a devotee who just offered his home-made curd rice was calling me to receive the prasadam and I was the first one to receive it. Not just that, we found a line as we got ready to exit through the East gopuram that we quickly filed behind. It was for temple prasadam and I received a generous amount of Tomato rice. That was enough to silence me and reflect a bit!

Sirkazhi 

On the second day, after our customary darshan of the arasar (king) of Chidambaram in the cool and quiet morning hours, we headed to nearby Sirkazhi. Our first stop was the ThaDalan Perumal koil - one of the three divya desams with Ulagalanda perumal as the presiding deity.  What was interesting was that the deity was quite small unlike the other two in Kanchi and Thirukoilur. It was a quiet temple which wasn't very crowded when we visited it.

Then, we visited Sattainathar Sivan koil in the same town a short auto ride away. This temple has three levels - Siva as linga at the ground level, Siva in vigragam (idol) forms on the other two levels separated by a narrow, steep staircase. There is an elaborate sthala purANam depicted on the walls.

Then we headed to the famous Vaideeswaran koil (place also called this) where Siva presides there as the divine healer. My introduction to this was the Sri Vaidyanatha ashtakam I learnt during Covid time. This was set to Ragamalika by Sri RK Shriramkumar. We had heard the rendition on the way to the temple, and I chanted the first two verses which I know by heart while we had darshan at the temple. It was quite crowded with a lot of hawkers asking us to buy salt, jaggery and checking if we wanted to get our nADi jOsyam from one of the many soothsayers. We sprinkled some of the holy water of the pushkariNi on our heads and had the darshan at the main shrine. There is also an Angaraka (Mars) shrine famous for doing rituals for removing any Angaraka dosham.

We had a quick lunch at the not-so-great Aarya Bhavan nearby and headed back to Chidambaram for an afternoon of rest before getting ready for an evening at the Nataraja temple - one last time.

On our way to Nagapattinam

On the next day, we headed directly to Nagore on the way to Nagapattinam and we were keen to stop by at a small ANNan perumal temple in a small hamlet. It is quite a small temple with seemingly lax crowd regulation and sketchy premises but with a very attractive perumal who looked like Tirupati Balaji. Well, the resemblance is not a coincidence but is owed to the belief that ANNan perumal is the elder brother Tirupati Balaji. It had a huge pushkariNi attached to it and the temple itself is surrounded by devout Srivaishnava families who seem to be single-handedly managing the temple which by the way is a divya desam as well. On our pradakshinam, I was struck by the exquisite and lively forms of Sri Rama, Sita and Lakshmana on the gopuram.

We later reached Nagapattinam by 11 am leaving us enough time with the very beautiful and regal form of Perumal as Soundararaja perumal. It is a relatively small, colourful and busy temple with an imposing and highly ornamented deity. He is so beautiful to look at and it is no wonder he is called Sundararaja or Soundararaja perumal. The form is visible from afar right from the temple entry area and there was a lot to take in. I offered "Soundararajam" in Brinadavana Saranga while having the darshan. We had performed archana there and filed in again for a second darshan. A second darshan means second prasadam and our hearts and stomachs were well-fed by then. 

It is to my regret that I realized that the KAyArOhaNa swamy and Neelayatakshi temple was barely a km away, a little too late. We rushed there and were greeted by archakas and staff closing the doors for the sanctum as we walked in. This temple is made famous by Dikshitar's "Amba Neelayatakshi" in Neelambari that I learnt a few years ago. We had to be content to offer our pranams from outside with a small screen separating us from Ambal. Isn't reality close to this anyway? So near yet so far!!

MayilADuthurai or MAyuram - our last stop

We reached Mayiladuthurai by evening. Our stay was right next to Parimala Ranganatha swamy koil (another divya desam) and we could see the gopuram and hear the mangala vadyam and music from our rooms. We had a quiet and wonderful darsan in the evening. What was unmistakably exciting was that there was an Andal sannidhi in every perumal koil. This time, I offered 'Muppattu moovar' Thiruppavai as I was filled with gratitude for being able to learn the 30 verses before last year's margazhi.

Later, our last stop for the evening and the pilgrimage was MAyuranAthan koil.  It is a huge temple frequented by local devotees, but the crowds were minimal that evening. Several nayanmars have immortalized the kshetram by singing the Lord's praises. An archaka was very thoughtful in explaining the sthala puranam and the story and indicating the idols of Mayilamman being ensconced in a small sannidhi.  The Ambal here is known as Abhyamba on whom Dikshitar composed 10 Abhayamba Vibhakti kritis. In fact, all the kritis are etched on stone tablets that were probably erected much more recently. 

As we entered the rather imposing temple of Abhayamba, a devotee was singing perhaps a Tamil Pasuram. It was an ethereal feeling knowing that devotion for Abhayamba (the one who gives refuge) continues unabated over centuries. I haven't learnt any of the 10 kritis, but I paused to offer "Sri Kamalambikayai" (Sri), the mangalam kriti of Kamalamba Navavarana series. This rounded off our short tour of this blessed land of Tamilnadu.

Well, almost. We had 15 minutes to spare before we headed back on our long road trip to Bangalore. We went to Parimala Ranganatha temple next door and witnessed the very first darsan right after a cow was brought in. It was just us and Perumal and a couple of devout volunteers to help clean and decorate a few shrines on the premises.

It so happened that I couldn't time my visits to Chidambaram temple with the times they open the small door to Chidambara Rahasyam. So, it remained a rahasyam (secret) and has continued to elude me. But it was with a full heart that I returned home after this spontaneous pilgrimage.

🙏

Vande Guru paramparaam..

On a recent morning, during my yoga practice, a thought flashed in my mind to reflect and write on the string of Gurus in a long, beautiful lineage that have shaped my life by nudging it periodically in a new direction - a direction that I would come to joyfully abide by. As they never seem to let go of me even if I had behaved undeservingly at times, I am filled with gratitude for having come under their influence at various points in my life right from the young age of 21. This is an ode to all my Gurus on account of this year's Guru Purnima (July 29, 2026).

Velliangiri mountain range

Childhood Influences

I was 10 or so and in 5th grade, which is the earliest that I can recall. Amma would mandate that all of us enter the puja room after our morning bath, chant a few favourite stotrams. We would get to choose what we chanted or read. It was only after that we would dress up and get ready for breakfast and school. My favourite idol was a small brass figurine of an azhwar and I would choose to chant a universal prayer in Telugu. I used to know that by heart. All I can remember now is that it was vast, inclusive and comprehensive in its import and a picture of wide-open arms pops up in my mind when I think of the prayer now.

On most birthdays, we would go to a temple followed by a restaurant and then a cinema sometimes. I also distinctly remember that my father and mother had long and involved engagement with their daily prayers. It is something that we imbibed by observation.

Amma and nanna had their routines based on the days of the week. On festival days, Amma would wake us up early, make sure we had our oil baths, new clothes and ensure that we helped in the puja decorations at home. It was all quite a participative exercise with she as the leader, and we would not get our breakfast till we cleaned up and were ready for the day. After all these years, those were the experiences that I would lean on to replicate festivals in our own home now. 

However, that was all the extent of religious and spiritual presence in my life till I met Om Aunty in 1983 when I learned of an entire new world of spirituality. 

Formative years

I finished my Engineering at 21 in 1983 and landed a token public sector job in HAL, Hyderabad. It is an understatement to say that I was not inspired by it. I was staying with my newly married brother and sister-in-law during 1983-87. I continued with my routine and basic puja activities, but I was also spending more and more time with music and my music teacher who taught me a lot more than just music. My music actually began without any interest from my side as I was 'volunteered' by my sister-in-law. I wrote more about aunty's central role in my engagement with music till date in my blogs on my Journey in music and a life of miracles. 

Om aunty's three children lived abroad or headed there very soon, and aunty and uncle were a retired couple except for a few years when aunty served as the principal of the ISKCON school in Secunderabad. As my interaction with Om aunty increased, I was learning to chant, discovering spiritual masters that were in her life etc. She used to recount stories of her meetings and conversations with them so vividly that I felt as if they were my own experiences. Om aunty used to live right opposite our house in a large bungalow. I would return so late on many evenings after finishing my dinner with aunty and uncle on many a night. With aunty, music was just the kindling. It soon led to very engaged discussions on language, etiquette, deportment, art of conversation, stotras and chants, devotional bhajans, meditation etc.

Over the next few months, I started to get disillusioned by everything I did and saw everyone in my family do in the name of puja. All these so-called worshipful activities seemed hollow and devoid of integrity. I felt there was no correspondence between the pujas people did and their physical and mental patterns. I actually did not see a point in all this. I was losing my faith in what I routinely did and was so put off by it all at one point that I stopped entering the puja room and doing my daily prayers.

My parents and family started to worry about my outright shunning of the puja room and apparently escalated the 'issue' to Om Aunty. That led to a heart-to-heart conversation with her regarding my reservations and that's when she offered to initiate me into japa and meditation assuming the role of an Upaguru. It gave me an anchor that I found meaning and purpose in and I re-entered the puja room by including new practices. 

The 'Darshan' of Swami Sivananda

Swami Sivananda was aunty's Guru and there were many of his pictures and books around her house and puja room. He was a medical doctor before he became a monk and had left his mortal body in 1963 which is a year after my birth. So, I never really met him. But, through aunty's various stories of her interactions with the Swami, he continues to be so real to me and hence, it feels like I have had his darshan a long time ago.

Aunty used to recount many of her elevating experiences and conversations with Sri Swami Sivananda and Sri Swami Chidananda and others of The Divine Life Society (DLS) on many quiet evenings. They used to be long and spontaneous sessions which used to stretch into late nights at times. I was young, receptive and used to soak all these in.  I was never before exposed to these dimensions of life. At certain moments, I used to be so lifted up by these waves of devotion and be washed over by indescribable and dizzying heights of joy.  I continue to feel very close affinity to Sri Swami Sivananda though I never saw him physically. 

As a 'happy ending' for the time being, I resumed my daily puja practices by including japa and meditation with lot more awareness.  This went on for about 3 years. We also would listen to many vintage concerts that uncle saved on spools of tape, discussed many books and sang many ashram bhajans. I also started collecting various books by Sri Swami Sivananda. Those were the years of intense practices and literally, a preparation for life ahead.

Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

It was also during this Gurukula vasam style of living in proximity to aunty that I was introduced to Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa through her gift of his gospel (book). 

On Monday, my weekly holiday, I used to often visit Domalaguda Ramakrishna Ashram and wander its halls and libraries. Generally, I used to find myself gravitating toward the main mandir by evening and attend the arati and bhajan. 

I visited the ashram and spent time there on many days like this, attended Sri Swami Ranganathananda's somewhat esoteric talks, acquired many books of Sri Ramakrishna and Sri Vivekananda. In fact, my music book "Spiritual Heritage of Thyagaraja" was bought here and only recently, I got to understand how one Mr. Raghavan of Chennai was instrumental in getting this published through Sri Ramakrishna Math press. It is like a final puzzle piece landing into place after years and years of a small but recognizable gap in understanding of the context behind this book.

Sri Swami Muktananda

My music classes in aunty's home used to be in an upstairs room, the balcony of which looked out into a large, shaded fruit garden. Aunty used to say that Sri Swami Muktananda of Ganeshpuri, Maharashtra had walked around in that garden on one of his visits to their home. She used to attribute the fertility of the garden to his grace as there was otherwise very little upkeep for that area. 

I have seen the pictures of all these Mahatmas in aunty's pooja room in which I have lighted a lamp on many days. The room used to always have a pleasant aroma and throb with palpable energy.

Initiation by Sri Swami Chidananda

Due to a divine turn of events, a local devotee in Sainikpuri where we lived then hosted Sri Swami Chidanandaji Maharaj - the successor and devoted disciple of Sri Swami Sivananda. Om Aunty contacted Swamiji on our behalf and secured his acceptance for initiating me and a few others.  It was sometime in Feb 1986. On a very early, distinctly cool morning, I quietly waited for my turn at the home Swamiji was sojourning in. I spent a few electrifying moments with Swamiji while receiving my Ishta daiva mantram with a few simple suggestions from Swamiji on keeping it up from then on.

A few years ago, I was completely ignorant of Swamiji, Divine Life Society, spiritual practices like Japa and meditation and even music, but here I was being initiated by none other than Swami Chidanandaji right in the location where I was living then. It was just divine grace in action.

Maiden visit to Rishikesh

I had an opportunity to visit Rishikesh and The Divine Life Society for the first time a few months later. It was 1987 and I had by then heard about and experienced DLS and Swami Sivananda vicariously for close to 4 years.  It was a few short months before I was to head to the USA to find myself. 

The journey to Rishikesh at the foothills of Himalayas was quite a long journey with many legs. I went by a long train ride to Delhi and stayed with my sister for a day or two and then took an overnight bus to Haridwar. I found myself disembarking groggily from the bus in the wee hours of the next morning. I learnt that buses to Rishikesh wouldn't run till later in the morning. Later, I ended up falling prey to the loudest solicitations in the bus stand and rented a shady room to rest and refresh before the last leg of my journey to Rishikesh.

When I finally arrived in Rishikesh after an hour of bus ride, I directly went to DLS and met Sri Swami Asangananda, a Telugu swami who I had met through aunty and uncle in Secunderabad. He was my host there and put me up in a small room of the ashram. I spent many hours at the various shrines within the ashram including Sivananda mandir, the darshan of the various swamis, the old DLS by the river and the ashram satsang in the evening. The biksha (meals) was very sparse just like what Swami Sivananda had subsisted on in his early days.

I also walked around Rishikesh to Lakshman Jhoola, Ram Jhoola, took a dip in the Ganga and visited various places in Rishikesh that Swami Sivananda used to reminisce about in his many books. I had read many of his books in the years prior to my visit.  I posted myself a post card from the Post Office to create a philatelic memory. It was an eventful visit that would set the foundation for everything that was to follow.

I met Swami Asanganandaji again in 1989 after my marriage. My wife and I went to Rishikesh while her family was left wondering as to what I was up to!

The Big H i a t u s

My practices took a back seat when I moved to the USA. It could have been due to lack of privacy, lack of priority or even lack of will. I used to share an apartment with three others, and my hours were long and unpredictable with classes, work, cooking and studies.  I was not able to carve out time and space for my Japa and meditation. There were also many influences and culture shocks that a young man is exposed to in a world that is so different from homeland.  

Later, when I moved into my own apartment after marriage 2 years later, it was a bit better. We had a small altar, and we would light a small lamp and make sure it is extinguished before we left the house. It was certainly necessary due to fire hazards but strange!  It felt quite foreign to practice our ancient mystical disciplines in a place that pulsated to a very different beat.

But I always longed for an appropriate personal space to read, reflect, chant, worship and meditate.  There was a time I remember in Portland that I would wake up earlier than normal to make some time available to read Bhagavadgita Home study by Swami Dayananda or listen to his audio lectures in the still hours of morning. My family back home was well into his fold and were going through several courses offered at the Dayananda Ashrams in Coimbatore and Rishikesh. Certain statements by Pujya Swamiji Dayanada Saraswati used to strike me deeply and were great pieces of advice to live untouched by external triggers. 

As a happy concidence, I discovered my college classmate Logasubramanian who took sanyas  from Swami Dayanandaji and taught wonderfully at Rishikesh until his untimely demise. I, along with my family had met him once during our visit to Rishikesh in 2006. A very bright and gentle soul.

Though I don't harbour any strong desire to read, recite and distill the scriptures and esoteric spiritual questions posed and answered in the Upanishads, those few study sessions did provide me with a live link to invaluable experiences I received during the formative years of 1983-87 in India.

So many great souls - Endaro MahAnubhAvulu

The reading bug bit me in college right around the time I discovered the power of language around 1981. During 1983-87, when I had the time and freedom to roam around and do whatever I wanted as a young man with a small disposable income, I used to frequent Higginbothams stall at Secunderabad railway station to buy a few books of fiction by authors I wanted to sample. During one such visit, I picked up "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahamsa Yogananda. It is quite possible that aunty had recommended it.

As years went by with a token job and intense music learning and practice, so many great souls revealed themselves to me. Aunty used to talk about an avadhuta whose picture adorned her puja room. He just looks up into the sky in that picture. Apparently, he did not speak or engage with the world. As I mentioned earlier, she introduced me to Ramakrishna Paramhamsa through gifts of his gospel and my visits to his Domalaguda ashram. During my stay with my brother and sister-in-law, I came to know about Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi as my sister-in-law brought his b&w picture to our home. His serene visage that I see on my mind's eye brings me deep peace even now. 

During the last 15 years, I was mesmerized by the free-spirited singing of Kabir music by Shabnam Virmani, Vipul Rikhi, Prahlad Tippania and others. That led me to a trove of vibrant music by Kumar Gandharva. I also watched the documentaries on him made by Shabnam Virmani. Recently, when a friend organized a satsang with a person from Kabir Math in Varanasi, I had the privilege of presenting a couple of beautiful kabir compositions at the satsang. 

Much recently, I came to know about Sri M through my wife. I read a number of his books on his life with his guru and his Himalayan treks, upanishads and meditation. I take inspiration from his insight that music is meditation. It so happened that I went to his ashram in Madanapalle on one of the Gurupurnima days with a couple of friends. During the writing of this blog, I had an opportunity of meeting him as my wife got an opportunity to serve him ahead of a book launch event.

Encounter with Sadhguru

There are many great Gurus in the world. But there is one for each and every one of us who maximizes resonance and receptivity in us based on our own limitations and personal quirks. In that context, how I came to know of Isha and Sadhguru is nothing short of miraculous. 

During my work life, I always harboured the regret of not having a few quiet moments in the puja room after lighting a lamp before rushing to catch the shuttle. Since I retired early in 2012, I almost immediately (to the day) enrolled in a yoga workshop by a Slovenian instructor. It was convenient as it was happening at our own home.  A few days of practice itself yielded physical benefits but, I had a gap in my heart still.  I continued to pray daily to be shown a simple, unswerving path of daily practices that I can follow till the end of my life. It is mysterious to me how I envisaged such a thing in that language. My pleas went unheeded for almost two years.

On one evening, my wife came home after work. She started to recount excitedly about her conversation with a vendor who worked on our house and boutique. He just went through the Isha yoga program and earnestly impressed on her that we both must go through this while we don't need to do it together.

I had never heard of Isha or Sadhguru nor did I immediately google him. I just looked for the next available program. There was one in a month, but in Tamil at the ashram. I was experiencing such an urgency that I felt I couldn't wait for the next English program. So, I enrolled in the Tamil program in the form of a retreat in Isha Yoga Centre, Coimbatore. After registration, I did not even look up what was there at the centre or what to expect. I probably had some faith that I had found what I was looking for.

Actually, later I recalled having seen Sadhguru at a TV debate, albeit fleetingly. His form and attire seemed unique as I would not expect such a person to be at a routine TV debate to discuss mundane matters so coherently.

Inner Engineering Retreat, IYC, Coimbatore

I had a great time at the retreat and so many of my notions got tested and some were shattered. I earnestly practiced from the day after initiation itself. Gradually, it has developed into a morning regimen (daily upacharya) come rain or shine, travelling or not, weekday or weekend. It has been close to 12 years now. People around me have gotten used to my yoga practice so much that they keep asking if I have done my yoga or why it was longer or shorter etc. They all know that it is non-negotiable.

Later on, I learned a few Hatha yoga practices, attended a few Mahashivaratri events, volunteered locally and at the ashram, went on treks with fellow meditators, undertook Kailash and Southern Sojourn pilgrimages and also set up a Sannidhi at home as a living presence of my guiding light. 

Guru Parampara - Ancient and Eternal

I breathe freely and joyously today and feel that I have finally come home. All that I was blessed with by many Gurus I came in touch with over the years sits comfortably along with what I have found at Isha. It feels like that I am just picking up from wherever I had left off earlier - much earlier. For that, I am grateful to the Guru parampara that guided my journey all along.

This lineage of Gurus that came into my life at various times and stages of my life helped me to know that I found something precious and have finally arrived at home when I received the initiation through Inner Engineering. We can call it serendipity, but I call it destiny.

सदा शिव समारमभां शङ्कराचार्य मध्यमाम्॥

अस्मदाचार्य पर्यन्तां वन्दे गुरु परम्पराम्॥

sadā śiva samāramabhāṃ śaṅkarācārya madhyamām..
asmadācārya paryantāṃ vande guru paramparām..

In search of AnDAL and her Thirumozhi

    AnDAL and her unique devotion for Krishna (PerumAL) that is filled with awe, obsession, beauty and intimacy all at once has fascinated me for the last few years. It is not until recently that I came to know that the kshEtram of SrivilliputtUr was her hometown.

    I vividly recall that it was in 1983 when I first heard the name of that town. I was working in HAL, Hyderabad then and I used to ride bus #6 from home every morning. A senior colleague Sri Raghavan used to ride the same bus. When I had once asked him where he was from, he said, "SrivilliputtUr" resoundingly with almost a touch of pride. I don't know why that memory stuck in my mind for over 40 years. The name was new to me, but it sounded layered and poetic.

    My journey from that innocuous exchange to my ThiruppAvai yajnam of 2024-25 is nothing short of mysterious and filled with coincidences in retrospect. The dots were always there and were occurring at regular intervals but, the thread that connected them all wasn't all that apparent at the time.

Early Memories

    My paternal uncle was one of my many relatives based in Tamilnadu. He was a devout Srivaishnava. He and his family were frequent guests at my parents' home. He used to go about his morning routines chanting various Tamil poems. At the time, my knowledge of Tamil was close to nil, but I can recall him chanting 'PallAnDu PallAnDu PallAyirattAnDu' though I did not know then what it meant. Later, when we were in Tenali during my 5th grade, our neighbours who were devout Srivaishnavas used to send us DhanurmAsya rice prasadam every day during DhanurmAsam (MArgazhi). Aunty's name was AnDAL and her daughter's name was Goda Devi. It is incidental but, what a coincidence!

    Many years later, when our daughter's arangetram performance happened, it included a rousing finale with AnDAL's 'VAraNamAyiram' while depicting the thirukalyanam of AnDAL with PerumAL. It was a very special performance that our daughter danced with a long, fresh garland around her neck that is typical of AnDAL's iconography. That was the first time I researched AnDAL's story and timeline before writing the introduction to be announced by the MC. 

    I was briefly curious and fascinated but, that was it. It didn't seem to go anywhere. I did not know its connection to music.

Orutti MaganAi pirandu

    My initial introduction to ThiruppAvai was in 2012 when I had learnt "Orutti MaganAi" in a lilting BEhAg tune from my teacher. Many of her students learned it and my teacher had sung it in one of her annual concerts as well. The poetry and imagery that the pAsuram evoked were gripping. But that was it. I did not know that it was part of the 30 pAsurams of ThiruppAvai. I just noted in my music book that it was pAsuram #25 and moved on like I would for any number of Thiruppugazh poems that I had a chance to learn. 

    Later, during COVID 2020, when most learning was happening online, I had learnt another ThiruppAvai pAsuram #27 KuDArai from my teacher's rendition on radio when she was a child. My initial attempt at self-learning was met with her approval on my first attempt itself. These two pAsurams piqued my curiosity for the wonderful devotional poetry and the apt tunes set by Sri AriyakkuDi RAmanuja IyengAr during the 1950s. The words were somehow delectable even if I wasn't extremely clear of their meaning. But isn't that what they say about Veda mantras and their very sound?

    During the Navaratri of 2023, our very creative friends Karthik and Krishnan invited us to the Golu (arrangement of divine icons) in their beautiful farm home. The Golu was not limited a typical tiered setup alone, but it was spread over their entire home. One of their narrations on AnDAL was magical. There were give-away cards with Nachiyar Thirumozhi (I think it was "Karpooram nArumo" which I really love in Bombay Jayashri's voice) on it. The card still adorns the little Saraswati altar in my music room. I was moved and inspired by the intensity of that offering. 

    Then, in October 2023, I had a chance to see Srirangam through the nostalgic eyes of my college friend Ranga who was born and brought up in this storied kshetram. He took me and my wife on a comprehensive visit of the vast temple complex over 6 plus hours. We had an inspired satsang with his brother-in-law Sri Vasan, a retired professional serving the shrine of Sri ThonDar aDi poDi Azhwar now. We were photographed in front of VeLLai gopuram, a quiet path with coconut trees (Thennan Solai - Coconut grove) near the prAkAram (ramparts) built by Thirumangai Azhwar and Paramapada vAsal etc. I even got to sing Orutti maganAi to his mother who is devoted to Ranganatha and Srirangam. I consider that a blessing.

Initial Stirrings

    I was reflecting on my music journey in late 2024. One of my wishes that I recorded in that was my deep desire to learn the rest of the ThiruppAvai. That was the first time that I put that wish in Black and White. That somehow seemed to have shaped my desire more firmly and started to breathe life into it. 

    Later on, I expressed my wish to my teacher several times. I was considering going to Chennai to learn them all in a special workshop as she said she had not learnt the rest of them and had no plans at the time either. I was a bit crestfallen but after a few reiterations of my deep desire, she suggested that I self-learn them from the YouTube album Kodai Amudam by Archana & Arati. I had made a mental note to do that someday. My initial fancy turned into an intention that is beginning to manifest and the golden reference for learning has been identified which meant that my ThiruppAvai yajnam had formally begun. However, it continued to be on the back burner for a little longer.

Sadhana - The Learning

    In the summer of 2024, I sensed a looming hiatus in my music learning in general due to my teacher's and my own potential travel. While I did have several projects of practicing old compositions, reviving and refreshing songs I learned many years ago from my previous teachers and recording them after I reach certain fluency in rendition, a thought flashed in my mind. I thought I should start with a few pAsurams of ThiruppAvai during this break and submit them to my teacher for review when she gets back from her holiday. I am glad I did.

    I started with the very first pAsuram - 'Margazhi thingaL' in Natta which I had heard in a junior musician's concert the year before. I also felt that the raga was familiar to me since I knew a few compositions in it. It took me a week of constant listening to the nuances, recording my rendition and self-correcting my attempts. The process of recording and self-correcting has helped me sharpen my ear since I started employing it since 2020 remote learning period. Since I was learning ThiruppAvai on my own, I used the same method to learn the pAsuram, a line at a time until it flowed naturally for me. In a week, I had a recording of my rendition that I was happy with. 

    I would go about learning the rest of the pAsurams in a random sequence guided by my familiarity of the pAsuram, ragam, complexity of the tune etc. Before learning a new pAsuram, I would transcribe the lyrics into Telugu by consulting both Tamil and Telugu text references and comparing them to what was sung in Kodai Amudam apart from watching Deepa S Pillai's abhinaya videos in her The Divine Doll series to get a broader picture of what I was going to attempt. At the outset, I eased the stress on myself by reminding myself that there was no time limit to learn these. All that I cared was that I learned them, learned them well and enjoyed the process.

    I had 4 pAsurams ready for my teacher's review when she returned. A few would pass her fine-toothed comb unscathed while a few others would require some changes in the ragam, talam and/or my pronunciation. Being a non-native speaker of Tamil, I wanted to be correct in the language department for sure. Overall, I recall the exultation of getting a thumbs-up for 'Margazhi thingaL (#1), Ongi (#3), UngaL (#14), Elle (#16), Ambarame (#17), Kuttu ViLakkeriya (#19), Anru ivvulagam (#24), Vanga (SuruTi) without any revisions. For others, I would go back to the pAsurams with suggested corrections and record them again after several practice sessions depending on the complexity. I am indebted to my teacher for suggesting a wonderful reference to learn from and guiding me in the process. The reference renditions were classical, crystal clear and easy to learn from. I cannot say that about various versions that abound on the internet. 

    As I learned and recorded them, I used to send the then final versions to a few of my friends who used to humour me by listening to them and commenting on them. For one, my wife, a Balaji bhakta used to love them despite her unfamiliarity of the language. A friend, Tara used to egg me on to learn the rest by the margazhi of 2025. My stock response was that I was in no rush and was not marching to any timeline. I, of course wished that I could be ready with all before the Margazhi 2025.  All this has only helped me move forward a bit by bit.

The Signs

    During the year of learning ThiruppAvai, I met so many kindred souls along the way in the uncanniest ways and enjoyed the interactions while they lasted. I also made some effort to drop my guard a bit and even be overwhelmed by them. 

    In November 2024, stars aligned in such a way that I could visit the amazing Kanchipuram. On the very first evening of my visit, I went to the Kamakshi amman koil and on my return to the hotel, almost bumped into the UlagaLanda PerumAL koil as it sort of juts out into the road at an odd corner.

    On the second day too, I repeated my temple wanderings and stopped at the UlagaLanda PerumAL koil on my way back. It was raining quite steadily but I had an umbrella and a jacket for protection. There was very little crowd due to rain. I had the darshan of all 4 PerumALs as I did not note the names properly the day before. The garrulous priest was missing in action as other priests were preparing to close the temple down early due to inclement weather. 

    I did complete the pradakshiNam despite the rain thanks to the umbrella (the metaphor of VAmana approaching Bali with an umbrella is not lost on me here!) and collected the delicious prasAdam (Pulihora) and came back to Azhwar mandapam to pause and relish the prasadam. Just then, a magical episode happened.

    As I was enjoying the Prasadam, an old couple wanted to borrow my umbrella for doing their pradakshiNam. I let them though I was in a hurry to see an old friend in town. While I waited, I had the idea to offer all 4 new pAsurams to AnDAL who was standing there peacefully and patiently. I sang them all to her with not a soul around. Towards the end, MaNi, the security guard came to me and appreciated it and was reminiscing how he learnt them all as a teenager. I took a picture with him. God appears in mysterious ways for sure!

With MaNi who knew to recite Thiruppavai

    In January 2025, I learned that a ThiruppAvai story telling session was being presented in two parts at a private residence in North Bangalore. I was familiar with the venue as I attended a different session there earlier. I was able to attend the second ThiruppAvai session though I had to miss the first one unfortunately. It was conducted by two dancers Smt. Deepa S Pillai and Smt. Anushka as a dialogue between Sridevi and Bhoodevi. They covered pAsurams #16-#30 in the session that I attended. It was very engaging and towards the end, the host offered them the AnDAL malas that a devotee brought all the way from SrivilliputtUr. They really looked divine, and this special gesture added to the mystique of the poetry they were elucidating for all of us.

                                                        

    During that session, a painting of AnDAL was exhibited in the background. The artist of the painting, Kumari Ananya Rajesh was introduced towards the end. When I was congratulating the artist after the session, I learned that she was offering a canvas print of it for those who are interested. It did not take me long to sign up for it. Ananya along with her mother came one evening to our house and delivered it by hand. It felt like AnDAL came home. She adorns a prime spot in our house now. 

    During a trip to Visakhapatnam and Araku last year, I came to know that my friend Ravi was from a town very close to SrivilliputtUr and knew a lot about the temple and the people there. I will soon meet with him to plan my trip to The Town in the near future and hopefully offer all that I learned. 

    It all made me feel that there are signs all around to nudge me along the way even if I were a tiny bit open to whatever came my way.

MArgazhi 2025

    After some sustained learning through 2024-2025, I completed learning all 30 pAsurams of ThiruppAvai a couple of weeks before MArgazhi 2025 was to begin. Soon after, I came across Malyada series by Sri Dushyant Sridhar. He enunciates the words and explains the meaning of each pAsuram followed by a dancer's interpretation - all under 30 minutes per pAsuram. I went through it all one by one and freshly transcribed the lyrics into Telugu and captured the meaning in a nutshell by the side. That would surely be a great reference for me in future.

    I was in Chennai during December for attending the mArgazhi music season of concerts. When I am there, I become fully immersed in music by attending lecture demonstrations, katha kAlakshEpams, concerts or even reading a book on music. Now that I have just completed learning the ThiruppAvai, my heart would jump with indescribable joy whenever I listen to a pAsuram being presented as part of a concert. I listened to the day's pAsuram in one concert or the other on a daily basis.

    Much to my joy, a heritage walk that I participated in took me to Sri Parthasarathy Swamy Sabha in Mylapore. This was apparently the sabha that Sri AriyakkuDi RAmanuja IyengAr premiered his musical renditions of ThiruppAvai in the city for the first time after his initial offering at SrivilliputtUr. I also learned that it was Kanchi Maha Periyava who had requested Sri AriyakkuDi to set the ThiruppAvai to music.

    Tara (my friend who appeared earlier in the story) chose to send a link to my rendition of the day's ThiruppAvai along with a really wonderful depiction by the artist Vishnuprabha, to all her friends. She was sending the poetry, meaning and some other renditions in the previous years. It is very kind of her to offer mine instead this year. I have been forwarding her post to a few friends who receive my recordings almost on a weekly basis. I also requested my friends Karthik and Krishnan to play my renditions in their beautiful shrine daily and they happily did that. Blessings grow only exponentially, it seems!

The Last Word

    I was thinking that AnDAL came into my life just a few years ago but I recently realized that she had been there with us in our house from the beginning. We had two Tanjavur paintings with us from 1995 onwards and they have graced all our homes. We kept thinking it was Meenakshi and Krishna till we realized just recently that it was indeed AnDAL and baby Krishna. No less! It felt like she had been with us all along hoping that we will open our eyes one day!

    AnDAL is the only female Azhwar and what she wrote is considered equal to Vedam by Srivaishnavas. But to me, AnDAL brings to mind the image of a charming poet and a beautiful baby girl who is intense in her devotion to her Krishna and relentless in getting all her friends (us?) together on her life mission.

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+ It is a miracle that I was able to learn ThiruppAvai set to music. Here are my renditions. 

https://tinyurl.com/2a9vtjby

+ The Splendour of Srivilliputtur by Dr. Chitra Madhavan 

+ Amuktamalyada by Dr. Srinivas Reddy

Now, coming to think of it, I just realized that I wrote this entire blog during MArgazhi and completed it on Day 30!