Homage to MS

December, 16, 2004

 

When I first heard a few days ago that MS was critically ill, my heart skipped a beat for a second. I tried to look away mentally from where this might lead to in a few days/months. I wondered what the connection is that makes me feel this way much as I would feel if this was happening to a parent or sibling perhaps. The connection, as I looked deeper into myself, is clearly more than a familial connection; it is a deeper bond born out of choice, by inner yearning, reaching out to the spirit within.

 

When the sad news of the physical demise of MS reached my years in the early hours of Sunday, I tried, almost as an involuntary reflex, to fill the void by filling the space around me with nothing but her music. Hasn’t she generously given us many jewels of melody and divine devotional outpourings?

 

When I was dwelling on the strains of her ‘Enneramum Undan Sannidhile Naan Irukkavendum Ayya’ in Devagandhari, it felt that she was having an intimate dialogue with the Almighty pleading to be with Him always. When my wife said that she would be at the feet of the divine without a minute of delay, I said that she was already there every moment of her life.

 

How else could I explain the radiance that she exuded when I had the rare opportunity of visiting MS at her residence 10 months ago? Her soulful music reflected her inner joy, radiance, tranquility and touched the hearts of millions just as she was touched by the music she was rendering.

 

One thing I do know, I am blessed to have the gift of music appreciation, to have been able to attend two of her live concerts in Hyderabad, to have been able to meet her in person before she merged in eternal kalam and in fact, to have coexisted in the same times as MS, though for only a few years.

 

When I hear the music of MS now, it is obvious that she sang each and every composition with conviction and sincerity. When I hear the line ‘Tirayin pin Nirkindrai Kanna…jnaniyar matrume Kaanbaar’ from her ‘Kurai Onrum Illai’, it seems that she has now merged with her Kanna and become invisible herself. But, like her Kanna, she is there to be seen, felt, and revered as before if only we have the inner eye or the Jnanam.

 

I would like to console myself that MS has not been lost to the world as she has securely become a part of our collective spirit and our very being long ago.

 

In homage and reverence,

Krishnaprasad Kamisetty

Bangalore

The Darshan of Smt. M. S. Subbulakshmi

February 22, 2004

 

As I was gingerly entering the cool and comfortable porch of “Sivam Subham”, I could not believe that I was actually going to be meeting with the music legend of all time and a veritable saint in a few minutes. I paused at the door before I even looked for the calling bell. I was wondering, “What should I say first? How can I express my worshipful admiration and respect to some one who was admired by the kings and the queens of the world, a thousand times before? Finally, I coaxed my hand to reach for the bell and ring it softly. Appropriately enough, the bell did not seem to know to make any jarring sounds and instead, made a very soft sound that I actually could barely hear.

 

A respectable gentleman, clad in all-white and with ‘namam’ on his forehead, ushered me in warmly. When I introduced myself as a reference of Dr. Sankaran, he said that he was expecting me and had me comfortably seated. He enquired about the purpose of my visit and laid the ground rules of no photography and no autographing.  I was disappointed for a brief second, but, understood how MS might have been hassled by innumerable autograph and photograph-focused admirers in the 70 years of her career. Later, when I enquired how he was related to MS, he said that he has been their servant for the last 50 years and that they are like his parents.

 

After a few minutes, I was signaled to go to an inner room where MS amma was being readied by one of her trusted ladies. She sat up just for meeting me. I truly felt that I was perhaps troubling her. I said ‘Namaste’ to MS amma and touched her feet as she herself folded her hands to greet me warmly with a huge smile on her face. It was such a sincere and warm welcome that I felt touched by her generosity. Her face was so radiant that a 10000W light bulb will pale before it. Before I could even open my mouth and utter all the things that I wanted to convey, she was enquiring about my kids and what they do. Mr. Athma explained to MS amma about my two daughters learning Bharatanatyam etc.

 

I really don’t remember what I said, but, I did manage to mention that this was a moment that I never thought I would experience in my life. I told her how her music embodied the best that music could be, for me. I told her that I felt that when I heard her ‘Bhavayami Gopala balam’ in the still of the night way back in 1983. She could not sit up for too long and was apologizing that she had to get back to her resting position. When I was signaled to wrap it up, I reluctantly got up with a pranam to the music legend, a saint and most of all, a wonderfully positive human being.

 

This is a memory that I will treasure for the rest of my life.