Homage to MS

December, 16, 2004

 

When I first heard a few days ago that MS was critically ill, my heart skipped a beat for a second. I tried to look away mentally from where this might lead to in a few days/months. I wondered what the connection is that makes me feel this way much as I would feel if this was happening to a parent or sibling perhaps. The connection, as I looked deeper into myself, is clearly more than a familial connection; it is a deeper bond born out of choice, by inner yearning, reaching out to the spirit within.

 

When the sad news of the physical demise of MS reached my years in the early hours of Sunday, I tried, almost as an involuntary reflex, to fill the void by filling the space around me with nothing but her music. Hasn’t she generously given us many jewels of melody and divine devotional outpourings?

 

When I was dwelling on the strains of her ‘Enneramum Undan Sannidhile Naan Irukkavendum Ayya’ in Devagandhari, it felt that she was having an intimate dialogue with the Almighty pleading to be with Him always. When my wife said that she would be at the feet of the divine without a minute of delay, I said that she was already there every moment of her life.

 

How else could I explain the radiance that she exuded when I had the rare opportunity of visiting MS at her residence 10 months ago? Her soulful music reflected her inner joy, radiance, tranquility and touched the hearts of millions just as she was touched by the music she was rendering.

 

One thing I do know, I am blessed to have the gift of music appreciation, to have been able to attend two of her live concerts in Hyderabad, to have been able to meet her in person before she merged in eternal kalam and in fact, to have coexisted in the same times as MS, though for only a few years.

 

When I hear the music of MS now, it is obvious that she sang each and every composition with conviction and sincerity. When I hear the line ‘Tirayin pin Nirkindrai Kanna…jnaniyar matrume Kaanbaar’ from her ‘Kurai Onrum Illai’, it seems that she has now merged with her Kanna and become invisible herself. But, like her Kanna, she is there to be seen, felt, and revered as before if only we have the inner eye or the Jnanam.

 

I would like to console myself that MS has not been lost to the world as she has securely become a part of our collective spirit and our very being long ago.

 

In homage and reverence,

Krishnaprasad Kamisetty

Bangalore